Re: Two foot tall terror
Asked by Crysalisgirl
I have a 18 month old baby girl who is so strong willed. When she gets mad she hits, spits, bites, pulls hair and throws things. She will back arch and throw herself GA_googleFillSlot("minti_advice_island_logged_out_300x250"); to the ground in a rage. I have had her threw a huge paddy in the shops and had the older ladies "tut" at me & been told a good smack will fix that. I am trying to to teach her not to smack us- she will hit my glasses off and smack me right in the face & bite when she doesnt get her way. I think that it is somehow kind of strange to say "Dont smack- smacking hurts" & then follow it up with a smack. But I am at a loss as to what to do about it. we take cover and defend ourselves- turn her around, move out of range of the teeth etc but she is just too young to reason with, I have told my 11 yo to just walk away and ignore her when she starts to spit at her but my 18 DD persues her slapping and tries to bite her if she stops. I have tried time out spots but she doesnt "get" time out at all- it just makes her madder and she usually throws herself down so hard she hits her head and then she is crying cause she is hurt and that is not the point of the exercise. i am at a loss as to the benefit of a solid smack or not in this stage of toddlerhood. what's some solutions?
My children are older now, but I came to understand this situation as a mini battle for power. As a baby, we do everything we can for them and give them everything and they come to see that they're in charge and they don't like it when the parents don't give them what they want. So, there is no easy fix. You need to be methodical in retraining your bub to accept that you are in control. If your uncomfortable smacking then don't. She will pick up on your anxiety. Time-out is useful, but you need to be determined. Sometimes taking a favourite toy and putting it up high can work, or a system of reward for good behaviour, but if she misbehaves she loses her reward.
Be firm, but comforting. You need to be in charge for all your sakes.